Try to leave a light on when I'm gone...
It has always been embarrassing for me to look bad at e-mails I wrote or blog posts I made years ago. Mostly it has to do with my poor grammar and being naive. These last few days, after upgrading my Yahoo! mail account (after using it for 3 years now), I decided to delete my old sent e-mails, I had stuff dated back to 2005 and for some strange reason, I started reading them all.
I've discovered that at the age of 17 I was not only naive and childish, but a real pain in the neck, vain and arrogant, self-indulgent, quite moronic and in general, not a nice person. I would like to believe that 3 years later, I'm miles away. You know that Relient K song "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"? That certainly applies here. Oh yeah, I was also a believer in God back then. Oh, how things have changed!
It also took me back to different days. The days when VJS was my life and I was pathetic enough to suck up to everybody and their mothers, including indulging John like it was nobody's business. I was such a kiss-ass it makes me sick. It also took me back to the good days of DP.net, the border-line times of my Westlife love (somewhere between the fading obsession and the cover-angst), and my days in Dorkville. Friendships with so many people I didn't even remember till I read their e-mails were brought up from the dead.
Sometimes I was happy to discover some things were put behind, at other times I felt sadness and regret.
I've still got about 180 mails there to go through, who knows what else I'll learn about myself? This has certainly been an eye opener.
PS: I know I've been a bad blogger again. I keep promising myself it'll change, and then I break that promise. Lets see if I can rectify this situation again.
I've discovered that at the age of 17 I was not only naive and childish, but a real pain in the neck, vain and arrogant, self-indulgent, quite moronic and in general, not a nice person. I would like to believe that 3 years later, I'm miles away. You know that Relient K song "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"? That certainly applies here. Oh yeah, I was also a believer in God back then. Oh, how things have changed!
It also took me back to different days. The days when VJS was my life and I was pathetic enough to suck up to everybody and their mothers, including indulging John like it was nobody's business. I was such a kiss-ass it makes me sick. It also took me back to the good days of DP.net, the border-line times of my Westlife love (somewhere between the fading obsession and the cover-angst), and my days in Dorkville. Friendships with so many people I didn't even remember till I read their e-mails were brought up from the dead.
Sometimes I was happy to discover some things were put behind, at other times I felt sadness and regret.
I've still got about 180 mails there to go through, who knows what else I'll learn about myself? This has certainly been an eye opener.
PS: I know I've been a bad blogger again. I keep promising myself it'll change, and then I break that promise. Lets see if I can rectify this situation again.
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